Tears ...

Tears ...
by: Ruth Septiana


So cold this afternoon, I should be able to reap the smiles and laughter and jokes in this place. Laughter, her tiny voice - that adorable voice. Hmmm, apparently still not able to drive any keresahanku. Smile they might at least be able to eliminate kepenatanku. But critical questions remain plain, :) .........

I see the beauty of the evening sky overcast membingkis that usually there. The atmosphere is so cold and lonely. While cheerleader harass crowded around me. Bak song god "empty ...." Instantly I could not breathe and remember when that feeling comes again. Like a big wind storm that has slammed so hard in my chest. Tightness. Should I cry? While the booth - booth tertawarkan longing would not be enough by it. Oh my God .. help me.

Sometimes I so want to run, go as far as possible from the moment of my existence, whatever is left here. And did not want me leaving for what I've missed. But you can not, I can not. All recorded clearly in the shadows and memories. Memories. Well, that's memorable. But is not the attitude of leaving something that must be dealt with, we have completed and pretend not to care or indifferent it will only be done by a coward / loser? . I guess I do not want memantaskan myself as that. No, no, God willing.

Life has its own lane ...
where there are black and white, where there are a variety of colors and flavors to eradicate all hope. After all forms and shapes, no exam life with His errand. Humans are not created to also run amanahnya? All are leaders from and for themselves and together. And in this life there are many different choices, where decisions in the choice of bringing risk and responsibility. Well, and that's where my full responsibility as human beings created by Him, I should be more understanding. I know, I do not have any power in my will, because I'm a nobody here, not a cruel world if only bitterness I always swallow, God would not have mendzalimi servant - a servant of His. Just think if there is a test and trial for the Lord will you become the person we are more reliable and stronger, to be stronger in life. Insha Allah.

But indeed, for all the thick of the run. Sincerity, we can not do with a flash and instant. Sometimes the pain and wounds - these wounds will terbiarkan over time until it became unraveled and menghambar sincerity with time - time that passed from our presence.

Sometimes I think when I really - really tired and depressed I try to focus on how inginya wish I could be more sincere to run all of this, if only there is no place for me harbors affection and love, is not there a God? There is a God who is always there for me, even though I can not deny I need someone who can share with me the ups and downs of the bond halal.hmm ya ya ya,

Suppressive conditions often make me speak to myself "let alone the hearts and hurt with their rights, and this is the real test of patience, is not sincere it will never end because we know where the mysteries of God and His servants who have been blessed by Him . Provide the best though, sometimes not too good of what I can, and even though I tried to keep with the understanding and practice honesty for the sake of understanding but it is no lie that can hurt me without a sense of caring. Or even destroy his whole percayaku. It does not just stop there, there's more, but because of His mercy, His love taught me to forgive. Maybe that's why I feel how I did it matter to the soul - the soul that always hurt. They'll never know, maybe for now, but I'm sure a good patience with the patient, it would seem. Did not I say "any of the heart, the liver will also tersampai". Sometimes it feels really sad, because I like to entertain myself, meleram keresahanku and gelisahku. Though it was not easy. How can I say it was easy? If only I always learn from what I got today. While all also need time to digest it, by Jove our Allah coolie-style case.

I could cry, because I'm human, of course enhancements because I was a woman.
But not everything in tears over this painful tomb.
Grief can not close the agony and emptiness.
I learned all make more prudent in terms of point of view was also shared. Alhamdulillah.

God Most Just, Most Loving and Most Caring. And he always has a way of conveying his love to his servant.

Great test, may be mengahncurkan all dreams, but can not have what we do not like it is the message of His love, and what we like and we get sick in it that was because God did not want us found the same error . There is always a love of Him in whatever form He suguhkan on us. Allahu Akbar ..., how powerful this sense.

Destruction of the rest of it, I thought that God would create someone a "big" a brave, and strong, and that's his choice, wallahu Nature. It's painful when we need someone who is able to sustain us in the fragility but it does not exist, or they do not care about us, but maybe from there I also feel, that I belong to Him completely. God had always longed for us who groan ask and pray only to Him. Sometimes prejudice often suspect stopped in the liver, but after that, I try to turn around again say to my own heart, I slowly upstream pared in my white black fibers, survive and learn to have more confidence,
"Really, in difficulty there is ease, with every hardship adan ease" Subhannallah .., our Allah.

No one is reduced to this day, for the soul - the soul that ever mengahncurkanku, which had slammed me in the least ..... the abyss, though hard hit because it makes me blue falsehood, and make me weak in the long silence lay, Really Almighty God has given compassion and genuine understanding me. Until I can say "forgive and love it ..., receiving, mengsisi, and also understand"

Now perhaps more precisely is to be grateful, that I .. or we can love, and can not hate someone that we love even though it really hurt.

Pain in love, love, and love is the proof of the sincerity of heart and conscience who want to understand and comprehend. Tub may sting wound doused by the salty brine, .......... sick. Gnawing. But it